Heart Song

My mind has been occupied this past month with establishing my business as a Yoga Teacher, and with that, the exploration of authenticity and diving deeper into connecting to my inner truth. I started a weekly series, "Sip on This: yogi snacks for mind, body & soul. I publish it on my Instagram and FaceBook accounts and it has been a way for me to share little sips of #reallifeyoga through philosophy, meditation, or whichever way speaks to me that week.

Last week my focus was Authenticity and I shared a quote I heard from Pamela Chimenti, "as the identities fall off you start to empty. Through the emptying, my mind started to quiet and my soul started to speak." I connected with this because through my journey battling cancer, so many of my defining features and titles were stripped away. I've had to reconnect with my essence and I've been given the opportunity to figure out what pieces I want to put back together.

We owe it to ourselves and the greater world, to be truthful about and to ourselves. In the Yamas & Niyamas, Deborah Adele references Howard Thurman, "Don't ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what make you come alive. And then go do it. Because what the world needs is people who come alive." This resonates with me. When someone does something whole heartedly, they may not reach everyone, they may not connect with those they reach, but the people they do connect with, it's like a frickin heart song to them. They really understand the message because it is authentic.

The other week Adam and I actually sat down to watch a movie together, just the two of us. It was a lighthearted comedy with David Spade, 'The Wrong Missy' and I don't want to spoil anything for you, but basically there is a guy who meets two different women, one seemingly perfect and the other seemingly crazy. Long story short, he ends up falling for the 'wrong Missy', the one who pushed his boundaries, the one who was unapologetic about herself, the one who practiced Brahmacharya because she was turned on to the wonders of the world (not in a zen way but a zest way) and in turn she was shining divine light onto all. The guy wanted that, he wanted to feel truly alive and so he chose her.

I love how when the student is ready the teacher appears. As I've been musing over these concepts I have found some amazing insights. I'm a big fan of podcasts since I can be working with my hands at the same time, and recently I've been binging on M.B.Om: Mastering the Business of Yoga as well as HeartDrivenBusinessAcademy and BalancebyMeghan and in listening to the wisdom of these ladies, and talking with good friends, I've come to a point where I've recognized that it's so important to know myself, so that what I'm offering is sustainable, because its authentic to me. I've struggled with putting my name out there as a Yoga Teacher, because I was trying to guess what people wanted, I was trying to follow the textbook model, and contrary to all my training, I was trying to fit myself into the pose instead of adjusting the pose to me.

And this is where I've had to dig a little deeper. I've had a flyer offering my services ready for weeks but for some reason I don't want to publish it. Its very inclusive, but it also has almost no boundaries because I was afraid of leaving anyone out or making it inaccessible. I'm struggling to figure out how to run a sustainable business, not just financially, but also in terms of time and energy investments. I'm hesitant about large group classes, I feel I thrive off the connection I find in small groups or one-on-ones where the trust relationship is strong. Acknowledging this as my truth is liberating in some ways. I can remind myself I don't need to do it all. I don't need to post on social media 100x a day if I don't have anything to say. I am not obligated to look like the 'perfect yogi'. I DO have an obligation to show up with my whole self, for myself, I do have to ask the soul searching questions.

I am reading the Bhagvad Gita for my upcoming training, and there's a discussion of how your true Self is always there, always has been and always will be, you just have to look for it within you. An analogy was given with a mirror, and how your face is your face, but only upon looking in a mirror can you see it. This journey of self discovery is like finding a mirror and brushing off the cobwebs and dust so you can see your higher true Self clearly.

As with many things, I need to not be so caught up in the destination, but to enjoy the journey. Live fully in the wonder of this world. Let my divine light shine. And so I will continue to take the time to polish the mirror.

The light in me honours the light in you, Namaste